Well kiddies Molly had come up with a fool proof way to beat the recession and get bring some excitement into the boring, depressing and downright pathetic live of all you lucky lucky people. I've decided to pen my very own memoirs and cash in on the public's burning desire to know more about my charmed illustrious lifestyle. If dullards who couldn't otherwise read a colouring book a.k.a Katie desperate for attention Price can use ghost writers to write them books and then get in OK magazine for little more that pissing sideways 52 weeks of the year then I can sell me soul for hard cool cash too. After a long and exhaustive research and writing period of almost 25 mins the book is complete and ready to hit the shelves. The completely original book set in a galaxy far far away tell the tale of how I was born of a virgin before launching off into space in a rocket I had tripple financed with monopoly money from Anglo Irish Bank to fight an evil galactic empire with my magical powers to later become a benevolent and well loved Empress kept securely in power by 6 Green Drones from another planet and 7 independents. Ill be floggin copies of the book out the back of a high-ace van parked outside the the McDonald on the high-street all next weeks so get them while their hot off the printing press.
All my love and kisses
and you cash in me back pocket
Molly T.
P.S I've also come into possession of a large tent I found thrown in a skip in the Galway area. Immaculate condition apart from a lingering whiff of corruption that cant be hosed out.
Will sell to the highest bidder.
Cash in brown envelopes as preferred payment please ;)
Well Kiddies
It is today Monday the 2nd of March 2009. It is today precisely 10 years to the day since the passing of the legendary and infamous Mary Isabel Catherine Bernadette O'Brien, OBE better known to you and me as The first lady of White Soul Dusty Springfield. Not to unlike your truly, caked in makup, panda-eyes Dusty was the original IT girl lesbian bat out of hell. She rose to fame in the late 60s the with a string of hits including, I Only Wanna Be With You, I Just Dont Know What To Do With Myself, Wishin' and Hopin, Some Of Your Lovin', Goin' Back, The Look of Love, Twenty Four Hours from Tulsa, I Close My Eyes And Count To Ten and You Dont Have to Say You Love Me, before packing her bags and hightailing it to the bright lights of the United States in the latter end of the the decade to produce her highly acclaimed and still widely available Dusty in Memphis (go get it kiddies – you deserve it) before blending into the background for much of the 70's and early 80's to get pissed off her knocker in a cloud of alcoholism and mad out of her face on mandrax (what a treasure, a true icon, a model for us all). Having come back to reality several years later Dusty was often asked if she would concider by writing an autobiography (she coulda made a mint. Geri Halliwell's done it twice and shes only in her 30's) to which she always replied: "How could I write a book about my life, I can't fookin remember half of it!"After the mixed success of her recording career during this time period dusty finally returned to the top scoring a free lunch from The lovely Pet Shop Boys in their 1987 hit 'What have I don't to deserve this?
Fast forwarding to 7 years later of renewed success (also helped by the inclusion of 'Son of a Preacher Man' in Pulp Fiction), to the recording in Nashville what was to be her last album, Dusty was diagnosed with breast cancer. Following a brief period of remission in 1995, the illness returned in 1996. After fighting tooth and nail and swinging her handbag over her head (the international symbol of a fighting woman) Dusty passed away in her home in Hanley-on-Themes on the 2nd of March 1999, the day she was due to go to Buckingham Palace to receive and OBE. In her will she left all her dosh to her cat Sargent Tom. (She musta been sniffin the ether when she write that) This song (below) is taken from her 1979 Royal Albert hall concert. Ironically in the intro to the song she give a short monologue that in retrospect would seem to be very much about herself. Rest in piece Dusty (lots of little burned pieces scattered over the Cliffs of Moher by her brother Tom Springfield (real name Dion O'Brien.....I know to much) ) In honor of dusty I'm goin to have a drink and wash me vodka soaked cornflakes down with a bottle of chamepers that fell up me top in oddbins (another one of those accidents that always happens me kiddies). Happens all the and they've never successfully prosecuted me yet. Tough times ya know. Its my emperial word agains theirs. As the Beloved Dusty would say: Let everyone debate the true reality, I'd rahter see the world the way it used to be, And a little bit of freedom is all we lack, So catch me if you can, I'm Goin Back.
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Molly T xxx
Join me now kiddies on facebook. Ooooo u lucky lucky people Xxxxx Molly T
Molly T xxx